3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
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i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
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So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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