maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
