they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
