You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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