Who did Billy Mays play for?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
