we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize