i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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