Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
