I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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