is your mom at the bar?
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
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she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
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I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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