My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
