I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
