Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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