well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Panties = found
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
