what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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