I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
