Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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