cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
