Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I wear drunk well.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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