no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
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we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
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I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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