You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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