I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
