She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
