You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
