I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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