problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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