i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
