they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
