he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
