I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize