maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We have started to decorate penises.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
