i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
