Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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