Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
MIDGETS
????
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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