Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
