What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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