Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
so much tequila, so little girl.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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