Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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