absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
