Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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