did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
