We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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