I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You may now shotgun with the bride
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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