Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
