So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
