You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my shit smells like andre
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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