Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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