THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
