so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
