So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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