Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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