Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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