You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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