marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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