he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
