...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
