Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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