i don't like sucking hair
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
