We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize