I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize