if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
